GOODNEWS FISHING!!! AND $9 DORITOS!!!

WE MADE IT BACK!!!
5 DAYS FISHING IN ALASKA WITH THE SOON TO BE INFAMOUS GOODNEWS FISHING GUIDES. MY GOOD FRIEND GABE DAVIS RUNS A FLOAT PLANE OUT OF A LITTLE PLACE IN ALASKA CALLED BETHEL. BETHEL IS A PRETTY FUCKED PLACE TO BE KIND ABOUT IT. THE WHOLE TOWN IS BUILT ON PERMAFROST ARCTIC TUNDRA, SO NONE OF THE HOUSES ARE PERMANENT AND STABLE, AND NOTHING REALLY GROWS. THERE IS ABOUT 5 MILES OF ROAD WITHIN THE TOWN, AND IT HAS THE MOST TAXIS PER-CAPITA IN THE WHOLE GLORIOUS USA. THE RESIDENTS ARE MOSTLY NATIVE YUP’IK, SOME RUSKIES, SOME WHITEYS AND SOME WITH ALL THAT MIXED IN TOGETHER. THE RESIDENTS ALSO DRINK MORE POP THAN ANYWHERE IN THE WHOLE WORLD. TRUE FACT. THERE ARE NO ROADS ENTERING OR LEAVING TOWN, SO EVERYTHING HAS TO BE BROUGHT IN BY SEA ON BOAT OR MOSTLY BY PLANE. THIS MAKES EVERYTHING SHITTY EXPENSIVE. THE STAPLE DIET FOR MOST LOCALS IS DORITOS AND PEPSI, WHICH WILL RUN YOU ABOUT $12 US. THE SHANTY WE STAYED IN COSTS $160 A NIGHT AND WEED THERE COSTS $50 A GRAM!?!? IT ALSO HAS A REALLY HIGH RATE OF CHLAMYDIA, SO HOPEFULLY YOU CAN AFFORD THE CONDOMS THERE IF YOURE GETTING BUCKWILD ABOUT YOUR MATTERS… OH AND ITS A DRY TOWN, NO BOOZE AT ALL. SHIT..
STILL, THIS SHOULD NOT DETER YOU FROM GOING THERE. IT IS NOT FOR THE WEAK FOR SURE, BUT IT WAS ONCE SAID THAT GOOD ROADS BRING ALL PEOPLE AND BAD ROADS BRING GOOD PEOPLE, OR AT LEAST WEIRD PEOPLE.. SO I DRAGGED MY OLD MAN UP THERE FOR SOME FATHER SON BONDING, AND MY GOOD FRIEND YANNI CAME ALONG TOO. AFTER 15 HOURS OF FLIGHTS AND STOPOVERS ON WHICH SHOULD THEORETICALLY BE A 3 HOUR DIRECT FLIGHT, WE MADE IT TO BETHEL. EVEN THOUGH THERE IS NO BOOZE ALLOWED IN TOWN, GABES FRIENDS GOT US DRUNK LICKETY SPLIT AND SHOWED US THE LARGEST GUN COLLECTION IVE EVER SEEN. THEN THE NEXT AFTERNOON WE TOOK OFF…

THIS IS GABE. THE ONE AND ONLY. HE WAS PRETTY STOKED TO HAVE US UP THERE. I THINK

PRETTY GREAT MOUNTAINS WE GOT TO FLY IN

AND LAKES

THIS IS OUR TRUSTY GUIDE MAYBE CHECKING FOR PIRHANAS OR SNAKES OR SOMETHIN…

THIS IS THE FIRST COHO I GOT. I WAS SO DAMN EXCITED ABOUT IT! BY THE TIME I GOT IT IN IT HAD EFFECTIVELY HOGTIED ITSELF COMPLETEY.

YEAH NO SHIT!!!

YANNI AND HIS FIRST LAKE TROUT

MY OLD MAN AND THE SALMO. HE DIDNT CATCH MUCH IN THE MORNING, BUT SLAYED IT IN THE AFTERNOON. BY THE DAYS END HE CLAIMED THE FIRST, SMALLEST AND MOST FISH.GOOD ON YA PAPA!

I THINK THIS IS A FUNNY PHOTO

GET YER MITTS ON THAT SUCKER!

MY LAKER.

GABE, FLY FISHIN THE RIVER

PAPA, CO-PILOT TO THE NEXT DESTINATION

AFTER YANNI AND ME KEPT POSING FOR PICTURES HOLDING THE FISH UP LIKE WE WERE AIRING OUT OUR PITS, GABE INFORMED US THAT WE HAD BAD ETIQUETTE AND WE HAD TO POSE LIKE THIS… JEEZ…

GABE GAVE US LESSONS ON HOW TO FLY FISH LIKE A JEDI MASTER

AND PULLED OUT A SWEET ASS DOLLY VARDEN. MY DAD KEPT CALLING THEM DOLLY PARTONS

I CAUGHT A LAKER ON THE FLY ROD AND GIGGLED LIKE A CHILD

THIS WAS MIKEYS POST FOR THE AFTERNOON SESSION. HE SAT THERE AND PULLED IN ABOUT 10 FISH IN 20 MIN. HE KEPT YELLING AT ME TO COME AND UN HOOK THE BUGGERS SO HE DIDNT HAVE TO GET UP.

BEAUT

ANOTHER GREAT EVENING

OOOHHH.. AAAHHHH…

WE MADE A GOOD FIRE THAT NIGHT, FULL MOON, AND I SHOWED GABE ABOUT WRITING WITH LIGHT IN PHOTOS. THIS IS HIS WORK OF ART

THIS WAS MY TRIBUTE TO HIM

THEN WE MADE SOME PROMO MATERIAL FOR GOODNEWS FISHING GUIDES

THE NEXT DAY GABE DID A FEW GOOD FLYBYS ON US. ONE WAS ABOUT 7 FEET ABOVE US THAT SONOFABITCH

YANNI WITH A POSE THAT WOULD MAKE ANY FISHING MAG COVER AND MAKE GABE PROUD

WE GOT INTO A GANGFIGHT WITH A COUPLE SMARTASS REINDEER. MIKEY BLASTED EM WITH HIS SHOTTY AND YANNI WIPED THEIR STUPID GRINS OFF THEIR GRILLS WITH HIS BLADE

THIS WAS THE SITE OF OUR FIRST CAMP BUT WE MOVED AFTER YANNI DISCOVERED THERE WAS A DEAD BODY UNDER THESE ROCKS

THE AREA AROUND OUR CAMP HAD NO WOOD AT ALL. SO WE HAD TO RESORT TO PILLAGING THE HELL OUTA THE LOCAL BEAVER LODGE. WE HAD ONE RULE THOUGH: NOTHING STRUCTURAL. WE ROBBED HIM EVERY NIGHT. EVENTUALLY IT GOT A LITTLE STRUCTURAL..

OUR LAST NIGHT THERE

GABE HAVIN AN EVENIN FISH NEXT TO HIS WHIP

OUR LAST NIGHT THERE GABE SMUGGLED US IN SOME BOOZE FROM DILLINGHAM, AND THINGS GOT LOOSE…

THE NEXT DAY GABE TOOK ME AND YANNI TO A NEARBY NATIVE VILLAGE FOR DORITOS AND PEPSI. BOY WERE WE IN FOR SOMETHIN SPECIAL…

THIS WAS THE SIGN ON THE CORNER STORE

WHEN WE GOT INTO THE TOWN, THE FIRST THING WE SAW WAS ONE KID BEATING UP ANOTHER KID, CLAIMING SOME KINDA TERRITORIAL STATUS. THEN HE TOLD US HE EFFING HATED WHITEYS, SO WE KINDA SOUGHT REFUGE IN THE CORNER STORE AND LISTENED FOR HIM TO PASS. WHEN WE CAME OUT, HIS BUDDY HAD GOTTEN ALL HOGTIED BY THE COPPERS AND DRIVEN TO THE COPSHOP ON THE 4 WHEELER

WE WERE IN AWE, AND GABE COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING

YANNI AND A 9 DOLLA BAG OF DORRITOS.

SO THATS HOW IT WENT. AN EYE OPENER FOR SURE, AND REALLY A DAMN FUN TIME. WHEN YOU ALL GET OFF YER ASSES AND GO THERE, CONTACT GABE AT GOODNEWSFISHINGGUIDES.COM HE WILL HOOK YOU UP AND YOU WILL HAVE A GREAT TIME. REMEMBER TO TRY AND BRING YOUR OWN BOOZE IN, AND HAVE AN OPEN MIND ABOUT IT, ITS NOT NORMAL THERE AT ALL, SO BE READY. AND PS HIKING IN THE TUNDRA IS A VERY STUPID THING TO TRY TO DO, EVEN FOR SHORT DISTANCES..

THE SOUNDTRACK FOR THIS ONE WAS NEIL YOUNG’S DEADMAN SOUNDTRACK, FROM THE MOVIE WITH JOHNNY DEPP, GOOD EFFING FLICK IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT. THEN IT WAS THE GRAVEDIGGAZ AND PRIMUS FRIZZLE FRY.
ASTALAVISTA!!!